Sunday, January 3, 2010

New Year's Resolutions & Toilet Paper

In my view, you can approach New Year's in one of two ways: head-on, or just ignore it. For the record, I've never done either.

I'm the type who makes lots of resolutions (typically right after a couple glasses of wine, or right before my period) and never sticks to them. That's me -- that's who I am.

So this year, I'm taking a new approach -- I'm ignoring it. I think.

As I was ready-ing myself to write this post (a resolution, write more), I decided that I better turn off the light in the downstairs bathroom (another resolution, conserve more). With four rolls of toilet paper on the counter in that bathroom, I needed to hook one into the empty rack because somehow that escapes my gifted children. Put the others away, wonder what that funky smell was, clean the soap out of the sink, the pee off the floor, replace the towel and clean the rest of the bathroom (another resolution, clean more often).

After that, and on my way to the computer, I noticed that my six-year-old decided to cut the tag from his sweatshirt and throw said tag on the floor. Pick it up, throw it in the trash (another resolution, bend over more).

As my wonderful husband did, in fact, fold all the clean laundry (resolution, tell him what needs to be done instead of mentally telepathing it -- my mind signals don't get great reception), there was still some on the couch, so ... I'm up: run the clothes upstairs (a resolution, take the stairs more). In my travels up the stairs, I noticed there were a few other items on the stairs (you guessed it, another one: pick it up and do it now).

I rounded the corner, heading down the stairs to the computer, when I noticed that the Nativity is still out. Hmmm, I thought. I'm standing right here thinking about it (another one, procrastinate less).

At some point during that task, Mary or Joseph (more likely Mary) reminded me that there was another load of laundry in the machine, and a dry one to fold. Run down and do it (another resolution, don't make the kids search for clean underwear in the morning -- chances are they won't look outside of their drawers and I'll be the mom who sent them to school in dirty underwear).

Whew, I thought: Look at the time ... what's for dinner. Better grab that sauce and start heating it up for dinner, eh? (and, yes, this is another resolution: feed my family more healthy food).

Soup's on and now I'm definitely going to the computer to write this post ... but on my way there, I pass the long-neglected homework folders on the kitchen table and ...

Something tells me I should have just stuck to the toilet paper.


Ruth said...

This is hilarious, Eileen. You could be the new Erma Bombeck! Happy New Year!

Cyndee said...

You certainly are a busy Mom and a wonderful writer. Keep up the good work. Don't worry about resolutions.

Beth D said...

It looks to me you've accomplished all your resolutions in one day. Good work and take the rest of the year off!

Linda said...

You are a great reading about your "adventures."

Carol Sc said...

I think most moms have days like that --- in fact, most days are like that! I am chuckling and wish you luck in ignoring your resolutions --- though I like the one about writing more. Happy New Year!!!

Hi, I'm Lisa said...

Whoa! Way too many goals for me. That time thing is amazing though, isn't it? Time just seems to zips by. Where does it go?

Chris said...

I second Ruth's comments... still laughing. Just keep writing, I enjoy reading your posts. Happy New Year!

Andrea Casey said...

Love you and love reading these posts!