Thursday, February 11, 2010

valentine, do you have to ask?

After the kids were in bed, my husband (from his usual position on the couch) said, "Hey, uh, am I gonna be on the hook for flowers or Valentines stuff?"

(This question may have been prompted by a tweet I sent him earlier in the day, pointing out that he could save $15 on flowers -- to which I'm sure he thought, "$15 is a lot of money to spend on flowers.")

When you put it that way ... Of course, I don't want anything. Do I really need flowers, candy, a new phone, jewlery, fancy dinner, wine, etc. as proof of your love for me?

The truth is I really don't need any of those things.

But here's a list (just in case) of things I want for Valentine's Day:

1) Roses: Red ones, delivered to work so my co-workers all think he's romantic (which he's not) AND some delivered to the house, so all the neighbors think so too.

2) Candy: Chocolates, from Fabiano's (if you don't live in Lansing, you won't get this) in a heart-shaped box -- that the kids can't eat and that won't make me gain weight.

3) An iPhone: with all my stuff already installed on it, all the cool apps and some cute boy to show me how it works (it would be great if that boy could be on standby just for me).

4) A quiet romantic dinner: Where I don't have to get the sitter, arrange dinner for the kids or put panty hose on (so I guess pizza in front of the TV with my fat sweatpants works).

5) Jewelry: Although I've become morally opposed to diamonds, I'd really like to have some god-awfully giant rock that everyone looks at and says, 'wow, your hubby's got taste' (which he doesn't).

Don't lie to yourself, and say -- I don't want those things -- of course, you do ... every girl does.

I've got something better though:

I have a husband who gets up every day before dawn and works himself silly for our family. He's the first one to say that his job coaching college athletes is full of fun. But I've seen the times when it's not so fun.

Regardless, out he goes every single day to make the bacon, so to speak.

For more than 16 years, we have carried on this love affair. (And, for the record, this is the longest I've ever done anything -- not including eating and breathing.)

Sometimes it's creepy how well he knows me ... yet, he keeps coming back. We have three kids who know where all our buttons are and regularly push them, just to watch what will happen when they do. And he sticks around.

I'm not the easiest person to be around. I'm moody and mean. I say stupid things and get irritated when things don't go my way. I have allergies and get colds (like I have now) where my face gets all swelly and stupid looking.

Generally speaking, I'm a crappy housekeeper -- that's because I'm a slob. And, I have a penchant for shopping for designer fabric (my husband would say, 'and clothing' but he doesn't even know what designer clothes cost ... Target does NOT equal designer).

He loves me still.

He loved me when we didn't have $6.95 for a pizza once a week. He loved me when I acted crazy and started crying for no (real) reason. He loved me when I gained a million pounds when I was pregnant (times three) and afterward too.

He's loved me through some crazy outfits, paint colors and 'here, try this-type of dinners.' He's loved me through days when I didn't love myself.

It might sound pretty boring, but truly I have all I need AND want for Valentine's Day.


Ruth said...

Love your post - you are a good writer! And I hope he knows he has a treasure in you!

Mary Kay said...

Bean, great to know that you see what really is important to each of us at the end of each day - someone who knows us loves us - what a gift! Love you Mom

Cyndee said...

Okay, now I am really crying. Your post is so heartwarming. It is wonderful to know that there are true loving relationships out there. It gives me hope. May you and your family have a wonderful Valentine's Day..with or without flowers and candy but certainly not without LOVE!!!

Linda said...

How sweet..........

Chris said...

You brought tears to my eyes. I vote for the chocolate that won't make you gain weight. Hope you both have a great valentine's day. Chris

Anonymous said...

Amen --- may your relationship continue to grow!
Carol Sc